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Is it just me, or does everyone potty training a little one want to pull their hair out? This is the most frustrating thing I have ever done. I love my son Troy, but some days I want to be the baby and just curl up into a little ball and rock myself to sleep. Some days I feel like I am making some progress, and then he just stops. I have tried everything, chocolate, toys, taking away things (tv) and rewards. One day I just told Troy, “Troy you are making mommy cry. Do you want mommy to cry?” he just giggles and says “yeah.” I think to myself,   “Uh oh, I’m in trouble here.” At one point I just gave up and thought, “Troy’s a smart boy, he’ll figure it out.” Well, he hasn’t yet, and I’m about to lose it!

The first time I tried potty training Troy he was just under 2 so I knew it would take a while. I started out rewarding him with Hot Wheels cars. It was working great for a while, but then Troy decided he didn’t need any more cars. So he just stopped going in the potty altogether. Then, I had this bright idea I would show him his poop when it was in the diaper. You know, so he can see how gross it is in the diaper.  He just stopped going poop totally. Yeah, I think I scared him for life. Have you ever seen the movie American Pie? One of the guys in that movie can’t go to the bathroom in public. Well, that’s Troy now.  I have a “Stiffler” (that was his name in the movie) on my hands. This boy gags at the smell of poop. One time I pulled a booger out of his nose and showed it to him. He said in a gagging voice “Don’t show that to me mommy.”  One day we were out and about and I took him with me to the bathroom. I proceeded to pee and he starts to gag. I’m thinking to myself “What the hell is wrong with this boy?” Now, he doesn’t do this every time, but enough for me to worry about him.

This did not come from my side of the family. Living in Mexico has taught me to go anywhere any time I need to, just watch out for snakes. Obviously this came from my husband Josh’s side of the family. All the bad habits Troy has are obviously from Josh’s side. It can’t be from mine, because I’m perfect, except for the nail biting.

Ok, back to the potty training story. The next time I try, I tell Troy that I’m going to take away TV time if he doesn’t go poop in the potty. That worked for a couple days too. He would poop in the potty in the morning, and then I’ll put a diaper on him when we go out and he’ll poop in the diaper.

They say potty training a girl is easier. Shoot, learning to fly a 747 jumbo jet would be easier then potty training my little boy. This past week Troy has been getting a lot better. I just have to keep a diaper off of him when we are home. So if you come over to my house and are offended by a naked butt baby, then don’t bother coming over because this is the only thing working right now and I don’t want to ruin it.

Binkey, Baba, and wee wee. Come on people, baby talk? Really? We’ve all been guilty of it, some more than others. I’ll admit I’m guilty of it every once in a while, I’ll find myself shorting the word and making it a little cuter sounding. We need to stop the insanity!! Baby talk is just a lazy way to talk to our kids. We invent cute short words (we think), to better to communicate with our little bundles of joy but they are not, and you will pay for it eventually in speech therapy. I’m here to say STOP IT!!! I was very young when I had my first child, but even at my young age I still didn’t like baby talking to Mariah like that. Strangers would come up to her and say “What a cute widdle baby. Does she want a Binky, or does she want her baba? Who’s a fursty baby?” “What the hell is a binky?” It sounds nothing like the word pacifier.

These babies/toddlers are smart. They don’t need you to dumb the words down for them. Whenever Troy asks me what something is I tell him and he’s good with it for the most part, sometimes I have to tell him 30 times in a row but  eventually he gets it.  Your child will chew you up and spit you out if they could. Make no mistake about it. They are cunning, smart and will play off mommy and daddy given the chance. Let me give you a little example.  I am with Troy all day and normally I don’t show him videos on the computer. As soon as daddy comes home, the first words out of Troy’s mouth are “Hi daddy, lets watch a video.” “What?????” he has not said a word about watching videos all day and that’s the first thing out of his mouth. The other night Mariah was reading Troy a book before bed time. It was a book about dinosaurs. Mariah started out reading the book to Troy and she was very relaxed and reading it kind of from the side, thinking “this is a kids book, I don’t need to pay that much attention to it.” She got to the third page and miss pronounced a word, then another. I corrected her. By the end of the book I had to correct her about five times. Now mind you Mariah is a very smart girl. She says to me “Why does this book have such big words”? I told her “kids are smart and they don’t need to put small words in it”. These are just a few examples. And the baby/ toddlers will act like this till they are at least 18. Trust me on that one.

Plus it’s super annoying to hear a 5 year old talk like the duck from the TV show “Wonder Pets,” because mommy and daddy are too lazy to use big people words.

First off, let me just go over my shower routine.

As soon as I step in the shower I get my hair wet and put shampoo in my hair. Then I begin to lather my body, and then I shave my arm pits and shave only one of my legs. I do this because I want to get the most out of my shampoo, you know let it sit in my hair and do its job.  I continue to rinse my hair, put the conditioner in, start shaving my other leg. When I’m done with my leg I shave whatever else needs shaving, and wash my whole body. That’s my routine. I have done it every day (ok, sometimes every other day.  Don’t judge me) for as long as I can remember.

So, the other day I started my shower routine Put my shampoo in, shaved my leg, rinsed and put the conditioner in. I went to shave my other leg and…. Blank. “Is this for real?”, I was thinking to myself. I raised the same leg I had just shaved. I couldn’t remember which leg I had just shaved. That was 2 minutes (at most) ago. Fushigi!!!!  Are you serious? Did I just forget that? I think I’m loosing it. Do I need some Ginkgo Biloba? Am I going crazy? What the Fushigi is wrong with me? Then I start wondering if this is common. Does this happen to a lot of women? I wanted to ask my friends, but I kept forgetting to ask. Lol. It seems like the only time I remember about this is when I take a shower.  Is this what I have to look forward to, Old age? 

I guess this is the life of a mom, wife, sister, and daughter. I love my life. At least I think I do. I’m sure I do.

We all think we are thinner then we are. Well, at least I do. My Almost 18 year old daughter Mariah came home about a month ago with a new pair of pants. She tries them on and they look great on her. Let me just say this before we go any further, Mariah wears a size 1 or 3. Me? Let’s just say I have had 2 kids and I am not a size 3. I have lost a lot of weight, but not that much. So I say to Mariah, “Those will fit me. Let me try them on?” Mariah promptly responds “MMMMOOOOOMMMMM, Nooo, they won’t fit you, you’ll stretch them.”I say “Just give them too me to try on!!!” There’s nothing else Mariah can do at this point but give them to me and hope I don’t rip them.

So now I have her pants. As I am about to put them on, Poor Mariahs face is all squished up. You can tell she doesn’t want to look, but it’s like a train wreck. You can’t help it. I ease one of my legs into the pant leg. Everything is going good till I reach the top of my thigh. That’s when it went all wrong. The pants wouldn’t even go over my upper thigh. I wasn’t even going to try and put the other leg in.

You think I learned my lesson? Well I didn’t. About every week I say this to Mariah. She just deals with it now.  There was one day when I actually did get a pair of her shorts on. Thank God no one took a picture of that. I had fat protruding from every hole of those shorts. Then I did a little dance and said to Mariah, “See look, these fit.” Mariah just looked at me, shook her head and laughed and me. Then she said “You want to wear them tomorrow?” That’s when I laughed and told her promptly “No.” I had the shorts on a good 2 minutes (that was 2 minutes too long), and I knew it was time to peel them off.

I think I’m just going to stick to my size and age appropriate attire.

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears. “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?
“I did!” sobbed Johnny.

Read more:  http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=46#ixzz1WZKB6IwP

One night I was sitting around outside with my little boy (he was about 2 at the time) and gazing at the stars when all of a sudden there was a loud CRASH!!!! My little one asked me “Mommy, what’s that?” I told him it was thunder. He asked me again “What’s that?” Meaning what’s thunder?  I had to think fast. I didn’t want to scare him so I told him “Thunder is when two clouds high five, like this”. I showed him how we high five. He seemed to accept and like my answer. The next few weeks, every time it would thunder, my son would say “Clouds high fiving!!!!” He was so proud of himself for knowing that.

Luckily there was no lightning that night. I started to think about what I would tell my son when it started to storm and there was lightning. ‘Light, Light, Light... What can I say about lightning?’

One evening my son and husband were playing with their light sabers. (Yes my husband is a Star Wars geek. What can I say?) Shazzzaaammm!!! I knew what to say about lightning. I couldn’t wait till there was lightning again. For those of you that don’t know what light sabers do, they light up and make this annoying noise whenever you move it.

One night it happened (thunder and lightning) but my little man was so obsessed with the thunder he didn’t even notice the lightning; I had to point it out to him. Once again he said, “What’s that?” I said “You know when you and daddy play with your light sabers and it lights up when they touch each other?” He said “yeah.” “Well” I said “the daddy cloud and the baby cloud are having a sword fight and every time you see the lightning, they’re hitting their sabers together.” He liked that answer, but he liked the thunder answer better. After telling my son about the lightning and thunder he has yet to be afraid of it, thank God.  

A little something extra

In this blog I will reveal the names of my two children, but first a little story.

Last week I had my 17 year old daughter proof read my blog because she’s still in school, and let’s face it, the information is still fresh in her brilliant lil’ brain. My daughter is one smart cookie, I might add. Anyway, back to the story. When my daughter was done proof reading my blog she said. “Mom why did you say that your son was 2 ½ and I was only 17?” if you’re going to say that he is 2 ½ then you should say that I’m 17 ½.” (Their birthdays are a week apart.) I told her “fine. How about I put down that you’re almost 18?” She liked that answer even better; so my almost 18 year old was happy.

Now the names of my 2 beautiful children: My almost 18 year old is named Mariah, AKA Riah-Pan and Sissy. My 2 ½ year old is named Troy AKA Troy-boy, Mr. Repeater and Stellar. I hope you enjoyed a couple more of my little life stories.

Does your child suffer from "potty mouth"? If your child is anything like mine (we call him Mr. Repeater), then yes. Children are little sponges and will repeat anything you say.

One morning I was sitting in the dining room with my 2 year old, and a fly started buzzing around and I said, "Freaking Fly!!" Then my son started to say it! I was thinking to myself, "that sounds too close to the F-bomb. So I tried to create "mommy approved" potty words. That's when I heard it. I was up late at night watching an infomercial (please dont judge) for this thing called Fushigi Balls.

And it hit me, thats my new cuss word.

Now all I needed to do was try it out on my son. The next day the fly was back. So I just threw it out there.

"Those Fushigi flies!......"    Sucsess!!!! 
My son loved the word so much that for the first couple of days he was running around saying "Fushigi Flies". It was great.

The other mommy approved phrase I like to use I took from the movie Three Amigos. Whenever I hurt myself , I say "Son of a motherless goat!"

About a week ago I stubbed my toe and started to say "Son Of A!!!!!". My son finished (in sing song form) "Motherless Goat." It was the sweetest thing ever. And no cuss words were involved.

Have some fun and make up your own cuss words. You'll be glad you did it. Trust me, lol.
Share your made up cuss words with us. We would love to hear from you.

My name is Trinidad. I have 2 kids. My oldest is 17 (yes 17) and my other one is
2 1/2 (yes you read that right).

The parenting is so different between the  two of them. They are both great kids. I have been married for almost 4 years. I was a single mother for 10 years. Needless to say, I have been there done that.  I want to try and write a post once a week, unless I stumble across something I just have to share with you all.

My husband is in the Air force and we travel alot, and I love it.
I hope you will enjoy my little life stories.